After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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