So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he fucked my hip out of place.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
