***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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