I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
