first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it glows. i had to have it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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