Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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