Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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