I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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