New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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