I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
