i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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