im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize