Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
