So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
