No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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