I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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