Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
