i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
