Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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