After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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