there's paper in my vomit.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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