she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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