Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
