just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
