Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
