ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
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If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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