who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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