if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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