If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
