Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
