He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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