is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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