We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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