yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
