he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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