ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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