This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
