I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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