Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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