I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I had to cum in my sink.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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