So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
