just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
