she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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