grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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