just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wow bdsm is so cute
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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