I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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