I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
its liver damage thursday
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
