One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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