she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
