I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
4 words: hood of his car
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
