I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
