everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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