He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
