hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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