Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
