If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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