Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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