dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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