So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
