There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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