took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
