dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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